The Vargas-Portocarrero Family Story

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Told by Rita Vargas (Mom)

The Jill’s House adult program is a dream come true. Ricardo is welcomed, engaged one-on-on, and growing in independence.

I’m Rita, mom to Ricardo. He’s 37, endlessly social, and lights up whenever there’s a chance to talk, play a game, or ride a bike. Ricardo was born in Bolivia and diagnosed with Kabuki syndrome. Over the years he’s had many surgeries—cleft palate repair at birth, spinal surgery at five months old, eye procedures—and therapy after therapy. We moved to the U.S. when he was just two months old, and Fairfax County Public Schools supported him from the time he was a toddler.

Life gets so much harder when kids get out of the school system. As a young adult, for a while Ricardo was in a day program that was not good for him. He had to sit around stuffing envelopes and my heart just broke.

Things got better when we got into the Adults with Disabilities Day Program (ADDP) at McLean Bible Church. Ricardo has a girlfriend who he met there years ago. Although she moved to Florida two years ago, he visits her during his summer and winter breaks. They talk on the phone every night.

We learned about Jill’s House because Ricardo met Jill Solomon at ADDP, just a stone’s throw from Jill’s House! But Ricardo was already too old to participate in Jill’s House programs, which were serving kids up to age 21. When I heard last year that Jill’s House was starting an adult program, I couldn’t believe it. A few of us ADDP parents went to the open house, and the moment I walked in, I knew it was for Ricardo. I signed him up right away.

Now, Tuesday nights at Jill’s House are Ricardo’s favorite. He loves the individual attention, the chance to talk and play, and the warm welcome he receives at the curb. Staff run up to greet him by name, and he beams. Before I can even park the car, he’s calling out, “Bye, Mom!” and heading inside with a big smile. The Jill’s House adult program is a dream come true. Ricardo is welcomed, engaged one-on-on, and growing in independence.

Ricardo’s absolute favorite activity is riding bikes. At home, he would ride for hours in our cul-de-sac, but his bike is broken right now.  Jill’s House has the same bikes as his at home. He happily hops on their bikes and rides with joy for as long as he can. He also loves to play “game show host,” asking staff to be contestants while he quizzes them. Chloe, one of his favorite staff members, has become a real friend to him. She accompanied him at the “Night to Shine” gala, making the evening extra special.

When Jill’s House started offering adult camp sessions of Weekend Adventures, we were there for the debut! Ricardo had such a fun time at Blue Ridge in Middleburg. He found it thrilling to go horseback riding!

As a single mom, when Ricardo is at Jill’s House, I can meet a friend for dinner without worrying about being home by 8 p.m. to relieve a caregiver. I can breathe, laugh, and come back refreshed. That kind of respite keeps me going.

Jill’s House helps Ricardo grow in independence. For each visit, together we make a checklist for his overnight bag—toothbrush, clothes, all the basics—and he now packs for himself. I double-check, of course, but he’s learning to take responsibility.

Community has been another gift. Through Jill’s House moms’ dinners and Zoom meetups, I’ve connected with other parents who understand this journey. At a recent dinner, I met another mom and we started dreaming together about future housing options for our adult children.

To the staff at Jill’s House, I want to say: thank you for answering God’s call. You could be doing a thousand other things, but instead you pour out love, patience, and joy for our children. When I drop Ricardo off, I feel complete peace. That is no small gift.

 

 

 

 

 

The Charles Family

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As told by Joy Charles

Jill’s House has been an integral part of our journey for many years. Knowing we have a place just for us is food for our souls!

When our boys were two and three years old, we received diagnoses that both had autism; our younger son, Teddy, also had an intellectual disability, and my husband was battling stage 4 prostate cancer. In those early years, between fighting for services for Teddy, fighting for my husband’s life, and fighting for my mental health, I felt like I couldn’t get on top of anything. Teddy would often elope, and we were always in a state of heightened alert. I didn’t feel like I could engage with the world in the same way other people did.

Teddy was in kindergarten when we learned about the disability waiver that would allow us to receive special services. I was exhausted and overwhelmed but completed the necessary paperwork with the help of the elementary school social worker, who also told us about Jill’s House.

I cautiously approached Jill’s House. I didn’t know what to expect and was very nervous. We were blown away by the tour, but I worried about how they would keep Teddy physically safe inside. I often say that physicality is his superpower; he could escape from anywhere! I didn’t know how he could possibly be kept safe.

When we entered the pool area during our tour, I was 100% sure Teddy was going to be denied access. Before we could blink an eye, he jumped into the pool fully clothed and swam to the center. The only thought that kept circling in my mind was how this would work. To my surprise, Teddy wasn’t denied access to Jill’s House!

Before Teddy’s first weekend stay at Jill’s House, we went to the store so he could pick out his own suitcase. He chose a Pokémon suitcase, which he still uses today! While Teddy was excited, I remained anxious. At drop-off, the team reassured me that I could call anytime to check on him. Of course, I did what any parent would do, and I called in the middle of the night, asking them to check in on him to make sure he was still in his room—and breathing. They lovingly addressed my concerns, and over time, I have grown more confident that he is safe at Jill’s House. I have learned to trust them and let go, and now we all look forward to our weekends.

Jill’s House has been an integral part of our journey for many years. Teddy feels welcomed and loved, and I have formed beautiful friendships with other moms. For parents of children with special needs, we often pass each other like planets in orbit, and rarely have a chance to connect. However, Jill’s House has worked hard to foster a sense of community among us. Knowing we have a place just for us is food for our souls!

I derive immense joy from Teddy and his zest for life! Whether he is feeding the wildlife in our backyard or joyfully watching the animals play, he is a happy kid. His heart is pure, and I am so grateful to be his mom.

We lost their father, and sadly, much of my boys’ lives have been overshadowed by cancer. I now honor my husband’s legacy by advocating for my boys and other children, believing that our world is a better place because of our kids!

The Adams-Nagel Family

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As told by Jan Adams

“Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” Hebrews 13:5

Nico was born in Guatemala and entered our family through adoption when he was 6 months old. We were excited to welcome a baby into the world, but when we couldn’t conceive a child naturally or through multiple fertility treatments, we knew that adoption would be how our family would grow. Our process of adoption from Guatemala was so uncommon and totally orchestrated by God. Our names were added to a list, and we were emailed pictures and details of children seeking a forever home. For several months we received emails from the listserv, then in March 2007, we received an email with a picture of the sweetest little one-month-old baby boy. We knew instantaneously that we wanted to meet him and bring him home! We arranged to visit Guatemala and meet him in July 2007, and he came home with us on a Medical Emergency VISA in August 2007.

Nico was very ill. He was medically fragile and needed urgent care which we located in the DC area before we brought him home. He was born with severe pulmonic stenosis and had his first surgery within days of being home. He was diagnosed with failure to thrive and had plagiocephaly which required 4 rounds of Doc Band treatments. He received OT to help with the formation and use of his mouth as well as PT due to his hypotonia.  He is on the Autism spectrum.  He has hearing loss and wears bilateral hearing aids, and significant vision loss so he wears corrective lenses. Nico has Noonan Syndrome and femoral anteversion as well.

I had to leave my career in telecommunications in 2007 because I was taking Nico to 7-9 appointments a week. I fought, and still fight for Nico to receive the best care, services, and opportunities to thrive.

Before we adopted Nico, we used to volunteer with Access Ministries (a ministry for children with special needs) at McLean Bible Church. In fact, as a volunteer at MBC, I cared for Lon and Brenda Solomon’s daughter, Jill, whom Jill’s House is named after!  We remember the years of preliminary work that were so instrumental in building Jill’s House. God was working in and through our lives in preparation for Nico, long before he was even born!

When Nico turned 6 years old, we were excited to register him at Jill’s House. With no family to help in the area and having a special needs child that made staying with a typical sitter or overnight with a friend, a non-option, Jill’s House was THE OPTION.

We met and trusted the staff so much, and I knew they would love and care for him as I did. Jill’s House was going to provide Nico with his very own experiences and opportunities. Eleven years later, we have wonderful caregivers who have been a part of Nico’s life and will never be forgotten.

Between scheduling doctors’ appointments, communications with Nico’s education team (teachers, therapists, specialists), maintaining the care schedule at home, and managing my full-time work, it is hard to relax. I am also a single mom, so there’s hardly ever a moment I am fully relaxed. But the school nights when Nico is at Jill’s House are a huge blessing! It is nice to have a break during the week when I don’t have to think about meals or the schedule, I can unwind, or work a few extra hours if I need to. Those nights are such a gift. But truly, the gift is for Nico. Where else would a kid have the opportunity to swim in an indoor pool before dinner on a school night?!

Nico thrives with a schedule and when he knows what to expect. When the Jill’s House bus arrives at school, he is excited to climb on and greet his friends, and he anticipates all the fun he’ll have when they arrive at Jill’s House. At Jill’s House, Nico gets to build relationships with kids and have fun with the staff and volunteers. Jill’s House staff and volunteers treat him like a typical child. They treat him with honor and respect, and the special child he is!

Our life is very complicated! So overnight respite is truly what I need. Jill’s House helps me to relax. There are very few places where Nico feels comfortable, safe, and loved unconditionally. Jill’s House is one that truly gives me the freedom to pause, breathe, and relax.

The Nelson Family

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As told by Christopher Nelson, Emily’s Dad

 

Anytime something is thrown at us or spilled on me, I stop and laugh, “Alright, God, I probably had that coming!” In some subtle way, albeit sometimes messy, it’s a reminder for me to not be angry or too serious and just enjoy life. I’m so grateful that God chose me to be Emily’s dad, and I’ll take whatever days God gives me!

Emily has her mother’s straight hair and my love for ‘80s and ‘90s music! Emily sticks close to her mom, but she knows I’m always ready for her when she is hungry for a snack or looking for some fun. If you were to drive through our neighborhood, you might catch Emily and me cruising around in our golf cart. I’m sure it’s a funny sight. This big burly guy cruising in a golf cart while Emily’s favorite song is playing over the speakers, “Girls Just Want to Have Fun,” by Cyndi Lauper. Cruising around on the golf cart while listening to her favorite music playing, with her hair blowing in the wind, is one of Emily’s favorite things.

Emily was born in March 2003 and was diagnosed with Microcephaly when she was an infant. We were told that she would be epileptic, and sure enough, she had her first seizure in 2004. She was in and out of the hospital with bad bouts of epilepsy. I wouldn’t wish that experience on any parent. You feel helpless when your child has a seizure, and you can’t do anything about it. I’m a Gulf War Vet, but those moments when Emily was experiencing a seizure were the worst moments of my life.

By 2013, when Emily was ten years old, our doctor said, “I know this is scary, Mom and Dad, but we want Emily to have an opportunity to be medication-free.” Our doctor wanted to wean Emily off the medications that were keeping her from having seizures. It was scary! But by the grace of God, she hasn’t had a seizure since then.

We found out about Jill’s House when Emily was 14 years old. She has since aged out of the program, but she was able to enjoy weekends at Jill’s House for three years. We will forever be grateful for how Jill’s House lovingly cared for our daughter. We always knew she was being cared for and in a great place! At drop-off time, we were relaxed, and she would eagerly walk into Jill’s House. At pick-up time, although she was excited to see us, she would continue to look over her shoulder as if to say, “I want to stay!” For someone who didn’t say a lot, her actions spoke volumes!

Although Emily no longer attends Jill’s House, I still connect with other dads of Jill’s House kids. The camaraderie we find in Christ and the ways we are being fortified as men and fathers mean so much!

I pray for the most fulfilled, safest life possible for Emily. She knows no hatred. She knows no fear. Other than the fear of not having enough french fries. She loves french fries! But I wish people could live like her. What gets me is that God chose me to be her dad! Anytime something is thrown at us or spilled on me, I stop and laugh, “Alright, God, I probably had that coming!” In some subtle way, albeit sometimes messy, it’s a reminder for me to not be angry or too serious and just enjoy life. I’m so grateful that God chose me to be Emily’s dad, and I’ll take whatever days God gives me!

The Levine Family

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As told by Pam and Jesse Levine

 

To have Jill’s House available when before you had nothing, and then to have people who are so empathetic and gentle with your child. . . you can’t ask for anything more!

We always knew that we would adopt a child. Even when we were young and dating, we talked about adoption. We brought our first daughter home from China and quickly pursued adopting another girl so that the girls would each have a sister. Then after a couple of years, we adopted Jax!

We adopted Jax when he was three years old. We knew it would take some time for him to become acclimated to our family and to America. He had been in a Chinese orphanage for the first three years of his life. We noticed some developmental delays, but over time, we realized that there was more going on than just difficulty in adjusting to life with us. Originally, he was diagnosed with ADHD. Then after displaying further signs of delay, he received an intellectual disability diagnosis when he was about five years old.

As a family, we say, “Everything is figure-out-able.” We have moved a lot; we have faced frequent health concerns. We have received unexpected diagnoses, but we have always been able to figure it all out. We knew that no matter what we were facing with Jax, that we would be able to figure it out together!

Over the years we have had attendants to help with Jax after school, or for a few hours on a weekend, but we never had a full weekend of help or respite. As Jax grew older and we experienced new challenges, we also began to grow weary of finding relationships and activities for him to gain independence and help develop his social skills. One day, my husband did a Google search and discovered Jill’s House! We’ve never lived near family, and we always felt nervous about leaving the kids with anyone. But Jax would hear other kids talk about overnight sleepovers at a friend’s house, and he would ask if he could have those same experiences.

We decided to complete the paperwork for Jill’s House. Before Jax had his first overnight there, we were invited to the Jill’s House Family Christmas Party. We were able to see other families, and I was able to meet other Jill’s House moms. I enjoyed chatting with them and felt comfortable asking my burning question, which was, “Is it really safe there?” I wasn’t sure if Jax could verbalize if things weren’t right, and I was nervous. The moms understood my concerns without judgement and plainly said, “We’ve been here for 12 years, and it’s the safest place for our kids!” These moms explained that there are so many eyes on the kids while they are at Jill’s House, between the nurses and the program staff, and that it is just as safe as my own home!

Jax finally had his first weekend at Jill’s House in January. We were so nervous! We let him take his phone so he could text us at any time. The first night, he sent us a text saying, “Good night. I love Jill’s House!” We were so excited. The next day, he ignored us! We sent him a text in the morning, and again in the afternoon, but we never heard back from him. We decided to call later that afternoon just to see if he was okay and ask if his phone had been taken away. The supervisor shared that Jax was having a great time. He was busy, engaged in fun activities and was doing great! We were relieved, and we were finally able to fully relax! Now, when we drop him off, he barely says goodbye before jumping out of the car.

We attended the Family Retreat and had such a great time! Seeing the other Jill’s House families and knowing that, even though our families are all different, we all face some of the same things, was awesome! We were able to connect with other parents and get to know the staff even better. Jax also had such a great time with the staff. He really loves them!

Jax is going to high school next year and is very excited. He is part of a teen boy’s group with Boys and Girls Club of America, but he says his favorite activity is going to Jill’s House, where he feels so loved and welcomed! To have Jill’s House available when before you had nothing, and then to have people who are so empathetic and gentle with your child. . . you can’t ask for anything more.

 

The Butler Family

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As told by Maura and Christopher Butler

 

Life can get messy, full, and tough, but at Jill’s House, we can rest assured our special kids are treated with dignity, respect, and love. This blesses our whole family. It is incredible!

When Dorothy was born, we weren’t aware she would have special needs, but my maternal instincts were telling me that something was different. When she was about six months old and not able to sit up, I brought my concerns to our pediatrician. I was encouraged not to worry and was told that each child develops at a different pace. But when Dorothy was almost one year old and only barely able to sit but certainly not crawl, I became her advocate. I educated myself about terms such as “low muscle tone,” “occupational therapy,” and “speech therapy.” I had never heard of a developmental pediatrician but learned and then fought for her to be seen by one.

As grateful as we were to be on a path with both a new pediatrician who listened to my concerns and a developmental pediatrician, we still didn’t have a diagnosis for Dorothy. She was receiving medical care, multiple therapies, and undergoing dozens of tests, and we discussed a variety of treatment options, but there was no clear diagnosis. I continued to advocate for Dorothy through this difficult season. (I’ve never really stopped.) I trusted that the Lord was in control and certainly grew in faith without knowing what Dorothy’s diagnosis was. Abandoning my earthly desires “to know” was not a one-time act of will; it was put on repeat.

When Dorothy was nine years old, we were finally able to understand the unique way in which God had knit Dorothy together. Through genetic testing, we discovered that Dorothy has Mowat–Wilson syndrome, a rare genetic condition with only a few hundred known cases worldwide. The moment I was told her diagnosis, I was overcome with joy. We couldn’t help but praise God. Our joy might not have made sense to our medical team, but we had been searching for answers for nine years, and in a way, I felt like God had blessed us for our faithfulness.

God made Dorothy intentionally and on purpose, without mistakes or hiccups. Dorothy has a role to play in salvation history that only she can fulfill, and Mowat–Wilson syndrome is part of that story.

Jill’s House is also part of the story!

We found out about Jill’s House from a family at Dorothy’s elementary school. We didn’t have support or family nearby, and we were tired. I remember freaking out during her first weekend overnight stay. I called many times, and I kept thinking, “Who needs respite from her own child?!” A woman I didn’t know very well (we have since become friends) had come to our home for a mom’s group that weekend, and she helped me understand that my children, including Dorothy, needed respite, too. Dorothy needing respite from us hadn’t crossed my mind. When I began to consider how Jill’s House was providing a time of respite for our whole family, it radically changed my perspective.

While Dorothy is at Jill’s House, we plan activities our other five children do not get to do otherwise. Our kids don’t feel that Dorothy needs to be somewhere else so they can have a good time. On the contrary, they feel free to have fun because they know she is having a blast at Jill’s House! Dorothy is so happy at Jill’s House; she wants to go there, she has friends there, and she gets to do things she loves with wonderful people.

The constant vigilance one must have on a child with special needs gets exhausting, not in an exasperating way, but mentally and physically exhausting. While Dorothy is at Jill’s House, though we may be involved in busy activities, I feel relaxed. That is what respite is! Several years ago, I sat on a panel discussion with other Jill’s House moms, and I remember all of us shared that other than Jill’s House, we had nowhere else for respite. I am so grateful for the impact Jill’s House has had on so many families!

The Sullivan Family

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Told by Sarah Sullivan

When our first child was born, we were living in California. Shortly after she was born, I stopped working, and we decided to move into my parent’s home in Illinois. We had planned to stay with them for a short time, so we could save some money. But then Kate was born, and our plans changed.

When I was pregnant with Kate, we decided not to do any prenatal testing but we had ultrasounds throughout the pregnancy. I remember during one ultrasound the lab technician took extra time looking at the space where her heart was, but we were not told about any problems. Kate was born with two holes in her heart and she was also diagnosed with Down syndrome. She had to undergo open-heart surgery when she was just three months old; then a pacemaker had to be put in, as some complications occurred because of the surgery. She was in the hospital for two weeks! Gratefully, we were with my parents during that time as they helped with taking care of our older daughter. God knew what we needed when He moved us to Illinois!

I had studied early child development before our first child was born and worked with kids with special needs—even those with Down syndrome, but we didn’t know what Kate’s diagnosis would mean for her or our family. Looking back, I believe God was preparing me for Kate, and I think God knew that I needed to see her and hold her in my arms before we received the diagnosis.

Those first few years of her life were filled with so many visits to doctors. At one point, she had eight different doctors! She is quite healthy now and doing very well.

In Illinois, Kate was involved in a program for children with Down syndrome, where she received most of her early support. The program was so wonderful and it offered profound encouragement to her and our family! I remember thinking about how much we were going to miss the program when we moved to Virginia after a few years. But then when we moved to Virginia, we found Jill’s House!

When I first learned about Jill’s House, I visited their website and read Brenda’s testimony there. I remember being so touched by her words! In her testimony, Brenda shared about their busy life with their older boys, and when Jill was born and later developed very special needs, she felt she couldn’t leave Jill’s side. They were all in desperate need of rest, but Brenda prayed that God would use Jill’s life for a greater purpose. When I read her words, all I could think was that when Jill was born, God was also thinking about Kate, our family, and all the other families that are being served by Jill’s House today. God is sovereign over all, and I’m so thankful to Lon and Brenda for their faithfulness in trusting The Lord with Jill’s life.

God IS good, and He has a plan! Life can be hard, and we don’t always understand what is happening, but when you step back and trust that He is faithful, you can see that He is working. Brenda’s words really touched my heart and helped me to trust that God is working in our lives too.

Kate started going to Jill’s House when she turned six years old and has been going there for the last 10 years. When she was younger, Kate was quite active. So, we found it hard to do our daily chores or even take her to the park. We would often avoid engaging in certain outings as a family because it was such a challenge. Kate is 16 years old now and full of life! She has a wonderful sense of humor, and she loves her family. She enjoys going out to eat, playing basketball, and putting on dance shows (for us) at home and Jill’s House.

Kids with special needs might be overwhelming or intimidating to some people. But everyone at Jill’s House sees these kids for who they are. God doesn’t make mistakes, and He has a plan for every single person on this planet. Everyone at Jill’s House seems to know that; they embrace that, and they love and serve our kids and families so beautifully! Also, from a practical standpoint, we can truly rest knowing that while Kate is in Jill’s House, there are on-duty nurses and excellent staff to tend to her medical needs and any situation that may arise. Everything about Jill’s House is such a blessing to our family!

The Mann Family

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Told by Lauren and Adam Mann

We met in high school at Bishop O’Connell in Arlington, VA. Although we attended separate colleges, we returned home after graduation, got married, and quickly welcomed Isaac into our family. Isaac is our firstborn, and he has three siblings. Family is very important to us! Our extended family lives in Northern Virginia. Our kids are growing up with multiple generations and get to spend a lot of time with the family and church. We believe this is also valuable for Isaac!

Isaac was a preemie and had an extensive hospital stay at the time of his birth. We found out that Isaac had a heart defect when I was pregnant, so he had to undergo surgery soon after he was born. When he was about two weeks old, we learned that he had a genetic condition, among many other diagnoses. However, we were told that its significance was unknown, so we focused on other areas of Isaac’s body that had greater, more life-threatening needs.

As Isaac grew older, he missed milestones such as crawling and walking. Initially, doctors told us that this was because he was a preemie. We were hopeful that he would catch up, but he continued to fall further behind. Isaac was one-and-a-half years old when our second child was born. As his sister grew, it became more apparent to us how delayed Isaac was. Finally, when Isaac was two years old, we saw a geneticist.

The geneticist ran tests and tried to assure us by saying that everyone has some degree of abnormality. What we were facing with Isaac could be nothing. We learned that Isaac has 4Q Chromosome Deletion Syndrome. It is estimated that only one in 100,000 children are affected by this syndrome. The amount of genetic information he is missing is minuscule, and the geneticist explained that the amount of information Isaac is missing in his genetic DNA is equivalent to a single page of a 3,000-page book. However, he was not sure how this would affect Isaac because what genes are missing in our DNA is of greater concern than the number of genes missing. This has turned out to be very significant for Isaac. He has relatively severe issues with the amount of genetic information he is missing.

He has been through many diagnoses over the years. So, it is hard to figure out what to attribute to the genetic condition and what could be related to the other diagnoses. Thankfully, a parent support group of other 4Q Chromosome Deletion kids has been very helpful to us in navigating through this relatively unknown journey. Jill’s House has also been a tremendous lifeline, providing a space for us to pause and take a breath.

We are both nurses at Children’s National in DC, which is where we learned about Jill’s House. The thought of sending Isaac to overnight respite care scared us because he can’t talk at all. We know what Isaac needs; but sometimes, even close family members have difficulty meeting his needs. However, when a coworker who also happens to work at Jill’s House shared how much she valued and trusted the organization’s mission, we decided to initiate the intake process.

He has done a few overnight stays, our other kids have attended the typically abled siblings’ night, and we have enjoyed a few mom-and-dad gatherings. The Jill’s House community seems really strong and close-knit! There are so many outreach programs for everyone in the family. We are excited to continue with Jill’s House!

The first time Isaac stayed at Jill’s House, we called a few times and were told that he was having so much fun. When it was time to pick him up, it was hard to get him into the car to go home! The joy on his face was so encouraging for us! For a long time afterward, Isaac used his communication device to say “House! House! House!”. So we knew he thought about Jill’s House often, and he now has his own “Jill’s House” button.

When you first look at respite care, there can be a little bit of guilt. But it’s nice to know that we can do something with our other children, or something for the two of us, and Isaac will also be having a good time with people we trust.

We are just so grateful for Jill’s House!

The Perez Family

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Told by Coleen R. San Nicolas-Perez

The day Joaquin was born was one of the happiest days of my life. Holding my child for the first time filled me with indescribable joy. I gave birth to a darling, sweet, and perfect baby boy, and life at that moment was … well, it was blissfully perfect.

All the nesting I did beforehand, all the motherhood books I read, and all the stories I heard from moms of typical children did not prepare me to be the mother of my special son. Nothing really prepares you for that moment when a doctor sits you down and says the word “autism”.

Joaquin was almost 3 years old when he was diagnosed with autism. Before that, he was thriving, even excelling in some areas. He would easily match picture cards before the age of 2, and boy! he did babble nonstop while doing his best to articulate words. He could recite the alphabet and count to 100. More importantly, my dear son had a special sparkle in his eyes.

That began to change after his second birthday. He wouldn’t respond to his name, constantly walked around in small circles, and stopped making eye contact. What was heartbreaking was that he became very quiet—barely a whisper.

That sparkle in his eyes quickly disappeared. He was a shell of his former self, lost in a world I couldn’t penetrate as much as I wanted to.

It took many years of therapy, tests, school meetings, advocacy, prayers, and a lot of hard work on his part to get to where he is today.

He is considered non-verbal, although he does verbalize a handful of words. The popular word he says these days is “cheeseburger”, which is one of his favorite foods. He can write his name and trace other words. He knows how to make the sounds of many animals. I find it adorable, even today, when he says “moooo”. He can point at objects and usually says “that one”. He doesn’t read or write, but we know he is super smart.

Joaquin turns 17 soon. My little baby boy is no longer little and far from being a baby, but in many ways, he still is.

Several years ago, Joaquin was also diagnosed with intellectual disability. His IQ cannot be determined because he is unable to be evaluated using a standardized test. Even with modified tests, the data shows he is way below average in comparison to those of his age and those much younger than him.

Every year, we go through the data with his schoolteachers, and every year, I am left with an ache and void in my heart and soul. It is difficult to put into words how exactly it feels when educational professionals, across the table, basically tell me every year that my darling, sweet, perfect child is far behind where he needs to be. No parent wants to hear this, but many do.

My family’s story is not unique. As I write these words, I know there are thousands of moms and dads out there who are trying to do their best for their children with special needs. I also know that somewhere nearby, a mom is learning for the first time that her child is autistic. According to the CDC, 1 out of 36 kids are diagnosed with autism. That’s not a typo. 1 out of 36.

Data after data. Tests after tests. Results after results. This is a tough life. It is physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausting. This life has pushed me to the edge and will continue to do so. What keeps me and my husband going is and will always be Joaquin—our perfect child.

He is the sweetest young man you will ever meet. A gentle giant, many have said. When this boy loves, he does so with his whole heart and being. He is kind and respectful, and oh boy! Is he resilient? … more resilient than his independent, career-oriented mommy, that’s for sure.

He enjoys going to school and being with his classmates and teachers. He is all smiles and hugs when I pick him up after school, probably because we often grab a yummy treat on the way home.

Joaquin can also be impatient, vocal, and demanding, which he gets from me. As for his sunny disposition and good looks, he gets that from his daddy who happens to be my childhood friend and husband for 25 years.

As hard as this life may be, I would not want to be on any other journey. I am absolutely in love with my autism family.

Not only are we an autism family, but we are also a Jill’s House family. We joined Jill’s House a few years ago. In the beginning, I was very reluctant and nervous for my non-verbal son to spend a couple of nights under the supervision of strangers.

The first time he went to Jill’s House Blue Ridge camp, I was convinced the staff and volunteers would call me in the middle of the night to pick him up. There was no way he would want to stay. Plus, there was no way the Jill’s House staff would take care of him the way he needed to be cared for.

I was wrong. I was completely and utterly wrong.

That first weekend, the Jill’s House team never called. They did, however, texted me a few photos of Joaquin to reassure me that he was doing fine. He was more than fine. The pictures showed him smiling, laughing, and having as much fun at camp as he should, as any teenager should.

Fast forward to today, Joaquin now walks into camp as if he owns the place. If I could read his mind, I am pretty sure he says, “Hey, sup fam!” to every Jill’s House staff member and volunteer as he settles in for a fun, safe, and positive weekend.

Jill’s House is a place of “rest, renewal, and relationships for kids with intellectual disabilities and their families.” For me and my family, Jill’s House is also about saving lives, because that’s what they do. The founders, staff, board members, fellows, volunteers, sponsors, and contributors of Jill’s House save lives … and they bring life back into families.

Note: Coleen R. San Nicolas-Perez is employed with the Department of the Navy. The opinions stated in this editorial do not reflect that of nor is an endorsement by the U.S. Navy.

Thank you for making stories like Joaquin’s possible.

The Edelbrock Family

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Told by Laura Edelbrock

Before Emma was born, my husband and I both had full-time careers in music. I was a high school music teacher, and he had served with the US Army Band for 35 years. Then in 2000, God gave us Emma! We knew before she was born that she would have Down syndrome, and when she reached puberty, we learned that she was autistic as well. We moved from a lifestyle of practice, performance, and perfection to this lovely life we now have with Emma, which we like to call the real life!

 

When I was six months pregnant, we found out that Emma would be delivered in this beautiful package, and for the next three months we embarked on a journey to prepare our lives and our hearts for her. But we spent many sleepless nights worrying about the future of our family. One such night, when I just couldn’t seem to fall asleep, I decided to read the Bible, knowing that was where I would find the comfort my heart longed for. I was reading a passage in Luke about the two disciples on the road to Emmaus. This was a story I had read often, but that night, I heard God’s voice clearly speaking to me.

The two disciples were talking to each other, despondent, when they were met by a stranger. The stranger asked them, “So, what are you talking about?” They simply responded, “We had hoped for something different.” I had to stop reading. That was us! We had hoped for something very different with our pregnancy and with our family. But then as I continued to read the story, I was reminded that the stranger on the road was the risen Christ. Jesus had come for the brokenhearted. He had come for us! My heart cried out, and I started weeping. I looked down at the Bible, my vision so blurry that I couldn’t even make out the heading of the section I had just read—“On the Road to Emmaus.” Through my tears, I saw the word “Emmaus” split into “Emma” and “us.” God had given us her name, and I knew in that moment that we were exactly where we were supposed to be.

Emma was born on a beautiful snowy day. We could feel the peace around us, and on our ride home from the hospital, we felt the need to stop at our church, where we found our pastor in his office. We had been surrounded with love and understanding during our pregnancy, and that afternoon, with our pastor, we dedicated Emma and our life to the Lord.

We knew that from that moment on our lives would be radically different, and for 23 years, God has not stopped writing our story into a memorable tale.

Emma started attending Jill’s House in 2014, but it took us a long time to get to that point. In my mind, I thought Jill’s House was for families who had children with different needs than ours. However, as Emma approached puberty and we began facing new challenges, we were encouraged to reconsider Jill’s House. Not just for Emma but for us!

We cautiously moved forward with our decision. Our intake meetings were successful, but we were unsure how Emma would respond to staying overnight in a new place, away from us. We worked with our intake team to create a “social story” of Jill’s House on her iPad, uploading pictures and videos of the different rooms at Jill’s House and then inserting her own picture into those rooms. The story helped us introduce her to Jill’s House and all the activities she would participate in while staying there.

 

When Emma’s first visit arrived, we still weren’t sure how her time away from us would pan out. Would we get a call in an hour or late at night? We never received a call, and when we picked her up at the end of the weekend, she was so happy. The staff kept thanking us for allowing them to spend the weekend with her! After a few more overnight stays at Jill’s House, she would barely wait for the car to come to a complete stop before jumping out and running into the building.

The blessing of Jill’s House goes far beyond Emma’s overnight stays—they continue in the form of family retreats, Bible studies, women’s retreats, and marriage retreats. Now that Emma is 23 years old and out of school, we have established relationships with other parents who are in the same situation as we are. We encourage one another and share resources.

Emma is nonverbal, but she is incredibly expressive, so daily maintenance can get busy and jumbled. That’s where Jill’s House blesses us the most! God led us to Jill’s House—a place that lets Emma do what she loves the most while allowing us the time to rest. She would return to a quiet and peaceful home, and rejuvenated, we would be able to completely dedicate our time to her.

Our story took a big turn, but God was so good to prepare us for it, and he continues to keep us close. Emma is such a blessing to our family and to others around us, and through Emma, we have been blessed by Jill’s House.

Thank you for making stories like Emma’s possible.