The Byrne Family

Told by JoAnn and David (Parents)

“When we picked Nick up, he was happy to see us—but he was also calm and peaceful. When your son is nonverbal, you learn to pay attention to what his face, his body, and his demeanor are telling you. We knew Nick had been happy.”

Our son Nick has always had a way of surprising us.

Nick is 28, the third of our four children, and he is autistic and nonverbal. Today, he is what we affectionately call our “gentle giant”—calm, active, and an absolute joy. But we don’t take that joy for granted. There were some very difficult years along the way.

As a child, Nick struggled with severe self-injurious behavior, including head banging. Keeping him safe was a constant concern, and finding the right school and support was incredibly difficult. When Nick was 14, our family made the enormous decision to move to New Jersey in search of better opportunities for him.

It was a big upheaval. But over time, with a new school system, a little medication, and the maturity that came with getting older, we began to see Nick change. Today, when we look at the gentle young man he has become, we can only describe it as a miracle of God.

And Nick is busy.

He attends an adult day program Monday through Friday, but some of his favorite activities happen outside those hours. He runs about twice a week—with one of us riding a bike alongside him—works out weekly with an adaptive fitness trainer, and ice skates from September through May. He has even completed sprint triathlons with his sister by his side.

But life with Nick isn’t all big adventures. Sometimes joy looks like an ordinary afternoon in the kitchen. Not long ago, he came home from his day program and made banana bread with us, happily working away beside us. Those simple moments mean a lot.

Our faith has also been central to Nick’s story. When we arrived in New Jersey, our church, The Chapel, had only a small buddy system for people with disabilities. We approached the church because we simply wanted to be able to bring Nick with us on Sundays.

They embraced him—and something beautiful grew from there. Over the years, the ministry expanded, eventually adding Ark Two, a space specifically for young adults. Nick goes every Sunday and loves it. We sometimes say that Nick helped inspire that growth. He has had quite a ministry without saying a word.

It was through The Chapel that we learned about Jill’s House. This June, Nick attended his first Jill’s House adult respite weekend at Camp Shiloh. He had visited previously and seemed nervous, so we weren’t sure how the actual weekend would go. But when he returned, his whole demeanor seemed to say, Okay, this is cool.

The Jill’s House team had learned that Nick loves puzzles, so they had one waiting for him when he arrived. It gave him a familiar way to settle in before diving into the kinds of activities he enjoys most. Nick loves being active, and over the weekend he swam, climbed the rock wall, and even took on the zipline.

And because Nick was comfortable, we were comfortable. We often say, “When he’s calm, I’m calm.” The Jill’s House team sent us updates and photos throughout the weekend, reassuring us that he was doing well. That gave us the freedom to do something we normally wouldn’t: spend a day away on a winery train through the Delaware Water Gap.

When we picked Nick up, he was happy to see us—but he was also calm and peaceful. When your son is nonverbal, you learn to pay attention to what his face, his body, and his demeanor are telling you. We knew Nick had been happy.